Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize