You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
