I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Randomize
