i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize