Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
