dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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