Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
