She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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