So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
