dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
