i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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