Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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