she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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