Barsexuality is the new black.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
