I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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