brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
