I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
