You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
