seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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