Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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