if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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