Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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