she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
