you guys were way drunker than both of me
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
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I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
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i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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