i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
