hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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