I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
