if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
