Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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