Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
