How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
