His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
