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• (818): View more from California

  Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.

  (1-818): View more from California

  Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.

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• (+27): View more from South Africa

  My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.

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• (418): View more from Quebec

  You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one

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• (760): View more from California

  learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.

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