He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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