He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
