Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
