if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
