I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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