whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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