Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
