you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
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then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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