....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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