i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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