He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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