apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
