I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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