Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You're like the curious george of whores
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
