Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize