Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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