Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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