Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
