someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
