We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
