so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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