Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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