is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
